In 2016, nine months after Nick died, I wrote this. I didn’t plan to share it, but I set it out into the world back then. It felt like time to share it again. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’ve had days when you feel this way too. If you have, I want you to know you’re not alone in feeling this way.
I JUST DON’T
I just don't. I don't want this life. I don't want to facilitate a grief group. I don't want to make deliveries to the addicted on the street. I don't want to stand at podium and tell strangers about Nick. I don't want to meet with local and state politicians and listen to them blather. I don't want to go to meetings where they gather and decipher data on overdoses. I don't want to hold a vigil candle in my hand and watch the wax drip. I don't want to be a face of overdose death in my town. I don't want people to avoid me in the supermarket. I don't want to tend to a grave. I don't want to have a bedroom frozen in time. I don't want to hear my husband silently weep when he thinks I'm asleep. I don't want to wake up in a panic after only two hours of fitful sleep. I don't want to listen to my daughter sob as she tries to explain how much her heart aches. I don't want to watch my son try to cope in self imposed silence with the loss of his big brother. I don't want to feel like I have a knife in my lungs every time I try to take a breathe. I don't want to walk around with eyes swollen and blurry from crying so much. I don't want to hold his blanket to my face so I can smell him. I don't want to never hold him again. I don't want an empty chair. I don't want to have only memories. I don't want to stare blankly at the rest of the world as it continues to turn. I don't want this life. I just don't.
Life had turned upside down for me. It felt unbearable. Knowing that these feelings are common and normal in grief can help. Read more: You’re Not Crazy-You’re Grieving
~ With care
Robyn
Robyn Houston-Bean
Founder, The Sun Will Rise Foundation
FOR THE NEWLY BEREAVED AND THOSE NEW TO THE SUN WILL RISE
We’re introducing a new peer grief support group: New Beginnings. Designed for those who are newly bereaved and those new to The Sun Will Rise. This group offers a welcoming space to connect, share and find support from others who understand the weight of early grief. If you're looking for a place to start, New Beginnings will help you navigate our offerings while providing a compassionate community to walk alongside you.
The group is facilitated by our long-standing facilitator, Janice Kaplan, who brings years of experience in peer support, offering guidance and connection as you take your first steps in our community.
CREATING AND REMEMBERING TOGETHER AT OUR CLAY THERAPY EVENT!
REMINDER ABOUT THESE TWO ADDITIONAL NEW GROUPS STARTING THIS WEEK!
SADOD’s Supporting Grieving Grands Virtual Workshop Tuesday, 2/25/25 6:30 - 8:00 pm ET
Substance use related deaths leave behind grieving families, including grandparents and other relatives who often take on the role of caregiver. This workshop, led by TSWR Senior Facilitator & SADOD's Peer Grief Support Specialist focusing on grieving grand), Kerry Bickford, Nancy Frumer Styron (Clinical Director of The Children’s Room), and Deb Tobin (Bereaved Mother Raising a Grandchild), will focus on supporting grieving grands and those who care for them. It’s open to grieving grands, those looking to help them, and anyone interested in this topic. Register at bit.ly/grieving-grands-workshop. Please note this workshop has a $10 fee for individuals outside of Massachusetts. Massachusetts residents may attend this workshop for free due to funding from MA-BSAS by using promo code MASS at the time of registration. If cost is an issue, please contact Laura@sadod.org
Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum Visit Sunday March 23, 2025 11:00 am Boston MA
Visiting together allows us to experience beauty, history and connection in a space shaped by resilience and creativity. Cost: FREE but requires a $20 per person deposit that you will receive back at the event. If you sign up and do not attend the event without giving us 10 days notice, the deposit is not refundable. We do this to be able to continue to offer events at no cost to you. For questions, please contact Cindy Kaplan at (508) 269-8428. Register Here.
MILTON MA RESIDENTS’ VOICES NEEDED!
Two different focus groups. Please join in the conversation. The first group is for people who have someone they care about that currently or in the past has had opioid related issues or for anyone who has had someone they care about die due to opioid use. The second group is for individuals who are in recovery from opioid related issues. Please share with anyone you know who could lend their voice to this topic.
HALO INITIATIVES: FAMILY OVERDOSE SUPPORT FUND
Boston Residents! If you are a BOSTON resident who has experienced the death of a family member to overdose within the last 2 years, you may be eligible for up to $5,000 in financial support. Apply here.
THIS WEEK’S MEETING INFORMATION
Meeting notes: Faith based not meeting this week. Young People Sunday group move new time. Three new offerings this week!
Monday - GRIEVING GRANDPARENTS - ZOOM 2/24/25 12:00-1:00 pm ET. (Rescheduled from 2/17 due to holiday)
Kerry Bickford facilitating.
For grandparents that have experienced the death or estrangement of a grandchild due to substance use (theirs or their parents.) The focus of this Monday group will be on the grandparent.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/2334755647
Meeting ID: 233 475 5647 or
One tap mobile 16465588656
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Monday - IN-PERSON, WEYMOUTH MA 2/24/25 6:30-8:00 pm ET.
Darlene Mersereau facilitating.
Crossroads Church, 241 Broad Street, Weymouth, MA
For anyone 18 and over who has experienced the death of someone they care about due to substance use.
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Monday - ZOOM 2/24/25 7:00-8:30 pm ET.
Don Lipstein facilitating.
For anyone 18 and over who has experienced the death of someone they care about due to substance use.
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84716470892
Meeting ID: 847 1647 0892 or
One tap mobile 16469313860
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Tuesday - HYBRID - LEARNING TO COPE WITH GRIEF MEETING - IN-PERSON & ZOOM, GLOUCESTER, MA 2/25/25 7:00-8:00 pm ET.
Colleen and Gordon Bullard facilitating.
CORE Peer Recovery and Resource Center 11 - 15 Parker Street, Gloucester, MA
For anyone 18 and over who has experienced the death of someone they care about due to substance use.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/83349371338?pwd=RXM5RnRINGJKL21HTFhiSVYyR1NCdz09
Meeting ID: 833 4937 1338
Passcode: 560270
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Tuesday - IN-PERSON, BRIDGEWATER, MA 2/25/25 6:30-8:00 pm ET.
Natalie Patricio facilitating.
Trinity Episcopal Church 91 Main St Bridgewater MA
For anyone 18 and over who has experienced the death of someone they care about due to substance use.
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Tuesday - MEN’S ONLY - ZOOM 2/25/25 7:00-8:30 pm ET.
Dave Swindell and Gary Carter facilitating.
For men 18 and over who have experienced the death of someone they care about due to substance use.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://zoom.us/j/96961980647?pwd=cFVTMHR3VE9COGc3UGdIZHo4TWVaZz09#success
Meeting ID: 969 6198 0647
Password: 300626 or One tap mobile 16465588656
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Tuesday - PARTNER & SPOUSE - ZOOM 2/25/25 7:00-8:30 pm ET.
Kar-Kate Parenteau facilitating.
For anyone 18 and over who has experienced the death of a partner, spouse or significant other due to substance use.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/86578435343?pwd=avNFpCQpiLGCsKRKFEsexJj7E87gM5.1
Meeting ID: 865 7843 5343
Passcode: 287422 or
One tap mobile: 13052241968
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Wednesday - PEOPLE IN RECOVERY - ZOOM 2/26/25 6:00-7:30 pm ET.
Leslie Lagos facilitating.
For anyone 18 and over who identifies as being in recovery from any substance or alcohol who has experienced the death of someone they care about due to substance use.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/86324167889?pwd=nrGKjzkr7MyLBnQBfLoUj9Sc43O1r6.1
Meeting ID: 863 2416 7889
Passcode: 428961
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New Offering!! Thursday- NEW BEGINNINGS GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP - ZOOM 2/27/25 7:00-8:30 pm ET.
Janice Kaplan facilitating.
For anyone 18 and over newly bereaved due to substance use related causes and/or new to The Sun Will Rise Foundation.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://zoom.us/j/93853426722?pwd=zhxz5RYig8tunxUyGp6K8Uk19XKxgw.1
Meeting ID: 938 5342 6722
Passcode: 756069 or
One tap mobile 13017158592
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New Offering!! Thursday - IN-PERSON, BRIGHTON, MA 2/27/25 7:00-8:30 pm ET.
Liz Driscoll facilitating.
PSF Community Center, 640 Washington Street, New Balance Room, Lower Level, Brighton, MA.
For anyone 18 and over who has experienced the death of someone they care about due to substance use.
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New Time! Sunday - YOUNG PERSON MEETING, IN-PERSON, MEDFORD, MA 3/2/25 6:30-8:00 pm ET.
Michelle Rueda and Chloe Brosnan co-facilitating.
96 Winchester Street, Medford, MA.
For anyone 18-35 who has experienced the death of someone they care about to substance use.
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New Offering!! Sunday - MOVING FORWARD-PEER GRIEF SUPPORT FOR PARENTS IN-PERSON, ATTLEBORO MA 3/2/25 6:30-8:00 pm ET.
Kathi Sullivan facilitating.
Sullivan’s Message Resource Community Center, 218 Park Street, North Attleboro, MA
For parents who have experienced the death of a child due to substance use.
Do you know someone bereaved due to substance use related causes that would appreciate our weekly email?
Have them sign up here for support!
Join our private Facebook page.
To view the newsletter on our website, please enter the password: grief
“Please be happy. The sun will rise” ~Nick Bean